As a special treat for Hardcore Blankers, thrown into this ranking are other versions of the show that aired during these "wilderness years".
Guest Panellists (in panel order): Joe Lycett, Anne Robinson, Paul Chuckle, Barry Chuckle, Lesley Joseph, Louis Walsh and Brooke Vincent.
So, what is Blankety Blank "series eighteen"? Basically... it's this. A 2016 ITV Christmas Eve Special hosted by David Walliams, not unlike revival Christmas Specials that aired in 1997 and 2020. The only difference is, this one flopped and didn't lead on to a series. As Walliams himself said on this edition: "We're calling it a Christmas Special rather than a pilot, because that way if doesn't become a series, we'll say 'no, we always meant it to be one episode.'"
The purpose of covering it here is purely for Blank Completists, who may wonder why there'll otherwise be a gap between series seventeen (if that one ever gets written) and nineteen. But, as extra detail for hardcore Blankers, while "series eighteen" is just a single episode, we'll make it into a full ranking by including all the other unofficial/semi-official revivals that aired between 2002 (when the Lily Savage version was axed by ITV) and 2020 (when it came back to the BBC with Bradley Walsh.)
The thinking behind this special was solid enough: at this point David Walliams was a popular judge on Britain's Got Talent and a best-selling author, so his appointment as host for a revived Blankety Blank seemed like a sensible progression: slotting a proven quantity into a proven format. Yet while 3.74 million viewers would be a Top 30 show in 2023, back then it was only enough to see it scrape to 23rd place in the ITV-only chart.
At 48 minutes the format is stretched to breaking point, but this special isn't, in hindsight, actually quite as bad as it may have originally appeared. The set is likeably small, so that the panellists are almost on top of each other, though they don't really interact. However, the possibility would have been there for future editions. The logo and design, which lean slightly towards art deco, are pleasant enough, and the show goes back to the original set up of just containing innuendo, not downright coarse remarks that had become a fixture of the series when it was cancelled back in 2002. At least, it does when Joe Lycett isn't writing down "kangaroo testicles" or Lesley Joseph is showing a card with "pussy" on it.
The panel contains some faces that had been on the show before, even if it was just the revival version: Anne Robinson had appeared with both Les Dawson and Lily Savage, while Lesley Joseph had appeared on the same Lily Savage episode with Anne. The rest, including The Chuckle Brothers, were all new to the show and haven't, to date, returned. All are decent enough, albeit unmemorable on the show, largely there as human props to support Walliams.
So, David Walliams. His performance is arch, drowned in canned laughter, and it's difficult to know if he would have been a good host truly as himself. Television of this period had gone through a trend of old series being revived as "knowing", ironic pastiches of the original, such as shows including Through the Keyhole, Stars In Their Eyes and, well, Doctor Who. This Blankety Blank special doesn't really go that far, yet we don't really get to see the "real" Walliams, and it's not known if he would have a big enough personality as himself to fill the show.
A lot of people are detractors of Walliams's comedy, with Barry Cryer once telling The Times: "He's a modern-day Florence Foster Jenkins. Everyone around him has been telling him he is funny." Yet whether David is funny or not, it must be acknowledged that he puts on a very "artificial" persona, all affected camp and would-be knowing irony, projecting more of a "character" than himself. Such things are arguably fine when appearing in comedy shows, or appearing as just one member of a team in Britain's Got Talent, but when hosting a show by himself, having a consciously "not real" persona does create a barrier between the host and the audience.
With all this in mind, I asked David on Twatter if he'd do it all differently if given the chance again, but didn't receive a response. So while the offer of a "right to reply" wasn't taken up, maybe it's best to conclude this summary with the view of one of the panellists, Joe Lycett, who said in 2018: "I'd just been on Blankety Blank with David Walliams, which, to be fair, was dog shit."
Guest Panellists: Barbara Windsor, David Tennant, Stacey Solomon, David Walliams, George Lamb, Keith Harris and Orville.
The Christmas Special was Walliams's third association with Blankety Blank. In March 2003 he had appeared as Ruth Madoc in a Comic Relief spoof of the show, with a performance he later described himself as "dismally unfunny". This second connection in 2011 saw David take part in "24 Hour Panel People" for Comic Relief, where he spent an entire day appearing on various panel game shows for the charity.
This edition sees Paul O'Grady back as the host for a one-off, but this time as himself, not as Lily Savage. It's a debate as to whether his version of the quiz would have been better if he'd always presented it as himself rather than Lily, but also one that can only exist in hypotheticals: while he was making Blankety Blank, O'Grady was an unknown quantity as himself.
He'd had acting roles, including shows like The Bill, but appearing actually as himself, with his own personality driving things, only occurred midway through his run as Blankety Blank host, and was a slow process. He'd begun hosting travelogues as Paul in 2000, but it wasn't until 2004 (two years after his run of Blankety Blank was axed) that The Paul O'Grady Show began on Channel 4, and eventually made his real self at least as well-known as Lily.
As for this Comic Relief special, then all of the quizzes were reportedly broadcast live in full on BBC3, though while other quizzes from the night have been saved, this one remains only as an edit that runs to a little over nine minutes. If charity versions are regarded as "proper" episodes, then this would be the twelfth appearance of Barbara Windsor, the sixth appearance of Keith Harris and the fourth appearance of Orville.
David Tennant's input, like the rest of the panel, is largely lost in the edit, though the original series would never have had the lead actor in a family show like Doctor Who write down the word "arse". Though as the version of Doctor Who Tennant appeared in also featured words like "prostitute" and lines about turkey basters, it's a stark reminder that either times have moved on or it's not really the same show. David Walliams, for his part, writes down the even more inappropriate "lady bottom".
The "ready" signs from series two are back, as is the "panellists wave at the camera" opening sequence, but despite all this, it's an edition that slates the show. George Lamb - a presenter who had fronted a show about celebrities cutting hair - expresses amazement that it was ever popular and used to be a Saturday night show, while O'Grady expresses disbelief that they'd ever bring it back, even for a one-off.
Despite all this, however, it doesn't come off as especially mean-spirited, even if most of those involved (including half of boy band Blue, appearing as contestants) act like it's all a bit beneath them. In answer of the hypothetical question then yes, O'Grady would have almost certainly been better as a host of the show than Lily ever was (even crossing himself when someone gives a rude answer, rather than supplying the rude material) and this isn't bad as a little curio piece. In an alternate reality maybe this would have convinced the BBC to finally bring it back, with O'Grady fronting and having a second shot with the show. But it wasn't to be, and the series laid dormant until 2016.
Guest Panellists: Andrew Castle, Fern Britton, Joe Pasquale, Holly Willoughby, Vic Reeves and Lorraine Chase.
Gameshow Marathon was an ITV show that began in 2005, presented by Ant and Dec, and, it seems, saw celebrities compete to win in recreations of old quiz show formats. If your idea of a good time was watching Eamonn Holmes competing in a revival of The Golden Shot, for example, then the show was a winner. Seven episodes were made, and included "one night only" resurrections of The Price Is Right, Bullseye and Family Fortunes as part of the run.
This second series came along around 18 months later, this time presented by Vernon Kay. Eight quiz show formats were featured, four of which were the same as last time - though oddly, not the Family Fortunes that Vernon would later go on to present for real. The four new formats to be brought back were Blockbusters, Name That Tune, Mr. and Mrs. and, of course, Blankety Blank.
There are those who decry Vernon Kay's abilities as a quiz show host, which seems a little exaggerated and unfair. In fact, if you want mind-numbing inanity then he delivers in spades, a master of the craft. On a purely technical level, then Vernon is terrible at Blankety Blank (quelle surprise?) in that he does the previously unthinkable: places the emphasis on the wrong part of the question. In particular, there's a moment where he Kay tries to get laughs by mocking the intelligence of Jamelia for answering "camel" to a question that had the clear answer of "cow". But while Vernon's mocking of Jamelia only goes to prove the gulf between him and Les Dawson, it's also not entirely her fault, as he decided, for no reason at all, to overemphasize a non-vital word of "hump" while reading out the question. And not just once, but every time he read it.
This edition does, however, contain a certain nostalgia value. As it's a one-off resurrection, there's no real attempt to "update" it, instead giving us previous contestants. There's Fern Britton, who did one Les show and a couple of Lily Savage ones, Joe Pasquale who did one Lily show, and, most crucially, Lorraine Chase back in the bottom right seat. There's also Wendy Richard as a contestant, though sadly not the Wendy who at least pretended to be bubbly and fun, channelling Mrs. Brahms, but the hard-faced, objectionable version of Richard who channelled Pauline Fowler.
There's a deference shown to the original version of the show, and also the odd sight of two very different comic styles on the same show, with Vic Reeves unsmiling whenever Joe Pasquale delivers a gag. It's not exactly must-see TV, hence its relatively low placing here, but it is passable viewing. While the 52 minute runtime may seem interminable, it does have the added bonus in that it begins with clips from the original run, along with brief "talking head" comments from people including Terry Wogan, Lorraine Chase, Bonnie Langford and Linda Lusardi. There's also Richard Arnold describing Les's run on the show as "art", and a losing contestant, Treena Field, reflecting on how her mind went blank when she appeared on Episode 11.3.
The Ant and Dec version of Gameshow Marathon averaged at 18th place in the charts with 8.04 million viewers, while Vernon Kay's take was not as successful, averaging outside the Top 40 and with viewing figures of 4.2 million. This particular edition was 51st in the charts with 3.86 million viewers.
Guest Panellists: Francine Lewis, Abz, Lembit Öpik, Brian Belo, Pat Sharp and Christine Hamilton.
So, is this an exhaustive list of all Blankety Blank content produced over an 18 year period? Maybe, maybe not. With the huge divergence in television channels over this time, it's entirely possible that all of the myriad of minor channels may have brought back the show, even in spoof form, and for them to escape TV listings.
Britain's Got More Talent was a behind-the-scenes show on ITV2 that featured a segment where host Stephen Mulhern resurrected old quiz shows with Ant and Dec as contestants. On May 3rd 2014 (and again on May 17th 2014) Blankety Blank was the featured show. Clearly filmed on the same day, they're both just filler material, lasting between 3'40m-4'30m. Yet it begs the question as to whether they ever featured the show again, or whether similar "minority channel spin-offs" also did the same? I stumbled across this entry entirely by accident, so there's no guarantee that a digital channel with a minority viewership didn't also do an unofficial BB.
The two segments are likeable enough, with a light air, though such a short length gives no idea how a real show would go. Yet they're more fun than a lot of other serious attempts during this period, and have a relaxed vibe. As the other entries in this run have the usual trivia of ratings, then the two editions cited here were both the second most-watched show on ITV2 on their respective weeks (behind just Celebrity Juice) and were watched by 1.37 and 1.06 million people respectively.
Guest Panellists: Donny Osmond, Maureen Lipman, Jamie Cullum, Barbara Windsor, Simon Cowell and David Coulthard.
As previously referenced in the Series Six article, then Terry Wogan came back for a 17 minute special as part of Children In Need in 2004.
Recorded before a raucous live audience, there's no chance for a post-edit to dub laughter over the top when jokes repeatedly wither and die, which is all part of the real BB experience. Terry's witticisms frequently play to thin air, as do most of the ad-libs of the panel, and, as such, it has a somewhat nostalgic appeal.
Barbara Windsor talks about her happy memories of the show, while both Terry and Maureen Lipman express how much they miss Les Dawson. Even newer acts, not part of the original show, help to reminisce, with Jamie Cullum talking about how he'd watched an old edition on video and how much trouble Paul Daniels had caused.
The presence of Simon Cowell (and Jan Ravens/Jon Culshaw as "contestants") reveal a TV landscape that had become harder in the interim, and Terry's version of the show, even as a charity special, seemed too quaint in the new millennium. So it is that this charity special plays out almost as a love letter to a time that no longer exists, a real Remembrance of Blanks Past.
For trivia, then getting ratings for this or 24 Hour Panel People is almost impossible, as, while both charity broadcasts did very well, the ratings were for a much larger, longer show, so there's no real indication of how many people watched just this bit. However, there is a brief bit of commentary from a panellist as Donny Osmond was later one of the "talking heads" on Gameshow Marathon, giving his views on Blankety Blank, albeit more the original show rather than his own appearance. Donny said: "Your mind just goes crazy as far as where it could go. That's the fun of the show. [...] I always felt sorry for the contestants, because, you know, they're trying to win the game here, and everybody's... goofing off."
Guest Panellists: Lionel Blair, Paul Shane and Ant McPartlin.
Actually a fairly essential text for Hardcore Blankers, on March 8th 2003 Ant and Dec briefly brought back the show on an edition that was 22nd in the charts with 9.01 million viewers. The ubiquitous duo are decent enough lads, though their elevation to TV A-listers is still somewhat inexplicable, and shows the fairly shallow talent pool available today.
With half of the panel cardboard cut-outs, Ant joins Lionel Blair and Paul Shane to create a light-hearted, fairly affectionate send up that only contains an easy Supermatch and a frivolous Head To Head game. Yet what makes this show a significant entry is not the game being resurrected, but that an original losing contestant from Episode 9.11, Ann Biggins, is brought back to play the game again. For an extra surprise, when she's taken out of the audience the man sitting on her right is revealed to be John Chappell, the contestant who beat her, and who she didn't recognise 18 years later.
In terms of a piece of telly, the 8 minute segment is of no real great significance - a statement which could perhaps cruelly be applied to the whole of Saturday Night Takeaway, of course. But as a kind of "supplemental text" to Blankety Blank, including over 20 seconds of clips from the Les Dawson show, it's worth a watch.